Happy New Year, Readers! Here are 10 Resolutions I Made for You!

Happy New Year to my Readers Everywhere. Here are 10 New Year’s Resolutions I made. For You!

 

Of course, we celebrated Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, in the traditional way:

Matzah ball

We stayed up until sundown and watched them drop the Giant Matzah Ball at the Fountainbleau Hotel in Miami Beach (where else?).

 

Shecky Greene

Then we danced to the music of the Shecky Greene Orchestra led by Ryan Seecrest. (Dick Clark was a no show. Again!)

 

10 PM

We partied well into the night. Some of us stayed until 10 PM!

 

But what’s a New Year without New Year’s resolutions. And I made mine for you, my Readers of 10 Minutes of Brilliance!

 

Here are 10 Things You Can Do to Make 5777 a Year to Remember:

 

1. Hand a photo to a stranger on a crowded elevator. Get out at the next floor and whisper quietly, “It has to look like an accident.”

 

2. Go to McDonald’s drive-thru. Order a Happy Meal with extra Happy.

 

3. Hire two private investigators. Have them tail each other.

 

4. Show someone on an elevator a box of Animal Crackers. Say, “I’d give you some, but it said, ‘Do not eat if seal is broken.”

 

5. Go to Target. Look for the sign that says “throw pillows.” You’ll know what to do.

 

6. Go to South Pole. Eat something disgusting. See if you can throw down.

 

7. Look at a see-through glass when someone is looking through the other side and shout, “Oh my God, I’m Hideous!”

 

8. Buy a parrot. Teach him to say, “Help! Help! I’ve been turned into a parrot.”

 

9. Party like it’s 3772.

 

10. Be a ghost writer for Halloween.

 

Happy New Year, Readers! I hope 5777 is a great year for you.  Jack

(Note: Some parts of this blog post are not original. But hey, I am a Copy Writer.)

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2 Responses to "Happy New Year, Readers! Here are 10 Resolutions I Made for You!"

  • Cynthia Hall Domine says:
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