WARNING (and an apology to my Readers old and new):

I’ve really screwed up this time. I published this blog before it was finished.  It has a gazillion mistakes on it.
All the Beatles photos were supposed to be live videos. Some are, some don’t show up at all.|
Things are out of place, screwed up.
Some things don’t make any sense because I hadn’t completed them.
Some things don’t make sense because I did complete them.

To make matter worse, I ran a banner ad (you’ll read about that soon) that had an audience of over one million people to promote this blog. One million people. Don’t worry. It didn’t cost a million dollars. Not even half that.

I could and should just trash the whole blog. But here it is. Mistakes and all. Sorry.

I’d like to blame it on STAN, the imaginary character who torments me on my own blog, but I’ll just have to take responsibility myself. This time. So here it is. Hope you like your blogs scrambled! (My sincere apologies to my friend, Mark Schaefer. You deserved better!)

HARRIET: Hey what are you wearing?

STAN: What am I wearing? That’s a little sexist, isn’t it?

HARRIET: No, of course not.

STAN: How come when I ask you, “What are you wearing?” you hang up the phone?

HARRIET: Because you were being sexist!

STAN: So, what’s the difference?

HARRIET: I just wanted you to look nice. Jack’s invited a million potential Readers to the blog.

STAN: Yeah, right. Like Goldberg knows a million people.

HARRIET: No, really. He took out a banner ad promoting the blog with an audience of one million people.

This banner ad will be on Link My Fan and other Web sites with a total audience of of one million readers. Then again, when was the last time you clicked on a banner ad? Never?

This banner ad will be on Link My Fan and other Web sites with a total audience of over one million readers. Then again, when was the last time you clicked on a banner ad? Never?

STAN: Hey, he even gave me a quote. Cool. That gives me an idea. (Stan smiles a devious smile.)

HARRIET: Stan! What are you planning?

STAN: Oh, nothing. I’m just gonna scream a million obscenities. One for every potential new reader.

HARRIET: You wouldn’t.

STAN: I would and I will. Soon as I see them coming, I’ll say somethin’ like, “Hey, who*es, what the f**k are you doin’ here? Damn it! I hate it when Goldman puts asterisks when cursing my f***in’ head off!

HARRIET: But you’ll scare away Jack’s Readers.

STAN: That’s the point, Harriet. Maybe then Goldsboro will listen to me. I deserve a bigger role on this stupid blog. They should call this blog,…

HARRIET: Yes, I know.

HARRIET and STAN (together): 10-Minutes-of-STAN!

HARRIET: Shhh, it’s about to start. Now behave yourself.

STAN: Oh, I will Harriet. Or my name’s not  S*rah Fu*in’ Pa*in.

Hi, Readers, welcome back to 10 Minutes of Brilliance. There’s a lot to talk about. So today’s blog will be all over the place.

 STAN: Nothing new about that.

We’ve got five topics, so let’s get started. Today we’ll cover:

7 Things You Never Knew About The Beatles

5 Reasons Parents Shouldn’t Text

4 Reasons Netflix Is Cool Again

4 Reasons Snoop Dogg Is Getting A New Wrapper

Coming Soon: 2 Photos I will stick in here later because, well, I can

And 1 Great Commercial (I had nothing to do with)

 STAN: Looks like we’re in for a long, bumpy ride.

HARRIET: Fasten your seat belt, Buzz Aldrin We’re about to take off.

 

7 Things You Never Knew About The Beatles

Yes, young Readers, Paul McCartney had a band before Wings. Cue Ed Sullivan. Here come the Beatles, the most successful performers of the 20th Century . They made major contributions to music, film, literature, art, fashion, pop culture and the lifestyle of several generations. Here are some things you may not know about them, some of them in the Beatles’ own words. The quotes are from one of the best Beatles’ books ever written, “The Beatles Illustrated Lyrics,” edited by my friend and great artist,  Alan Aldridge.

#7 A Day in the Life

Like so many of the Beatles tunes, A Day in the Life is weird and wonderful. In the middle of it, it seems to change into another song, then it comes back to the “holes in Blackburn Lancashire.” Where did those lyrics, “Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall” come from?

I was writing the song with the Daily Mail propped up in front of me on the piano. I had it open at their News in Brief, or Far or Near, whatever they call it. There was a photograph about 4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire, being discovered and there was still one word missing in that verse when we came to record. I know the line had to go “Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall. It was a nonsense verse really, but for some reasons I couldn’t think of the verb. What did the holes do to the Albert Hall? It was Terry (Doran) who said “fill” the Albert Hall.”  John

 

A Day in the Life

Songwriters: John Winston Lennon & Paul James McCartney

#6 Hey Jude

Hey Jude is another incredibly great Beatles song. The tune was originally called “Hey Jules” for Lennon’s son Julian.

“It was originally going to be “Hey Jules, but it changed. I was driving down to Weybridge one day to see Cynthia (Lennon) and I just started singing ,”Hey Jules, don’t make it bad.” Paul

Paul McCartney composed the song to cheer up Julian Lennon during John’s split from Julian’s mother, Cynthia, in 1968.

 

Hey Jude

Songwriters: John Winston Lennon & Paul James McCartney

 

#5 She Came in Through the Bathroom Window

In the late 60’s, Beatles fans hung around the Apple studio in the hope of seeing one or all of the Fab Four. It was reported that a number girls were invited into the studio, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. These ardent female fans were called Apple Scruffs.

Of course, millions of screaming fans weren’t admitted to the Beatles inner circle and one  of them, a girl named Diane, was the inspiration for the song, “She Came in through the Bathroom Window.”

Diane reportedly broke into Paul McCartney’s house through the bathroom window, and she and her marauding Apple Scruffs took souvenirs from Paul’s house. Paul was particularly upset because he lost some photographs. Eventually Diane got a job working at Apple. Diane must have come clean, Paul forgave her and he asked her if she would help him get back his photos.

She did, and that inspired Paul to write “She came in through the bathroom window,” with the line about Diane, “She could steal. But she could not rob.”

She Came in through the Bathroom Window

Songwriters: John Winston Lennon & Paul James McCartney

#4 Did the Beatles play under any other names?

John Lennon formed a band in the late 50’s, the Black Jacks. That name lasted all of a week, Then Lennon called his band the Quarrymen, after his high school, Quarry Bank High School. John met Paul, was impressed with his talent and asked him to join the band. They played unceremoniously in many Liverpool clubs and changed their name several times. They were also known as The Silver Beatles, Long John and the Silver Beatles,the Rainbows, and my favorite, Johnny and the Moondogs.

Perhaps the strangest name ever used by two of the Fab Four was when John and Paul played a duet at Berkshire, a run-down, little-known pub on the outskirts of Reading. On April 23, 1960 John and Paul called themselves “The Nerk Twins.”

STAN: He’s makin’ this up, right? Lennon and McCartney never called themselves the Nerk Twins! Goldberg’s just goofing on his Readers, right?

HARRIET: No, it’s true. Paul even spoke about it in an interview.

“It was the Easter school holidays and John and I had hitchhiked down from Liverpool to help out in the pub. We generally dossed around for a week and worked behind the bar. Then Mike (the club’s owner) said that me and John should play there on the Saturday night. So we made our own posters and put them up in the pub: “Saturday Night – Live Appearance – The Nerk Twins”. Paul

It was one of the few times the Fab Two, Paul and John, played a live duet before a crowd. And what a crowd it wasn’t! Reportedly, the room had three customers.

Teens Paul McCartney and John Lennnon played an unsuccessful gig at a club in 1960 called the Fox and Hounds.

Teens Paul McCartney and John Lennon played an unsuccessful gig at a club in 1960 called the Fox and Hounds.

 #3 Did you ever wonder what the Beatles would do if they had the ear of Mark Zuckerberg?

Of course, you didn’t! But fortunately for you,  my friend and my Rutgers’ professor  Mark Schaefer did. Mark is one of the leading lights in Social Media strategy. His blog, grow, is one of the few blogs worth reading. He inspired me to write 10 Minutes of Brilliance because he was always brilliant, always informative and always fun. Here’s what Mark wrote about the Fab Four and Facebook.

{grow}: If the Beatles ran Facebook

beatles

 

More changes from Facebook

You know … sometimes I just wish they would Let It Be. How about you? Sing along with me, won’t you?

“Let FB”

(Sung to the tune of “Let It Be”)

When I find myself immersed in Facebook,

Zuckerberg will come to me

Announcing still more changes,

Let it be!

And in my hour of darkness he is standing right in front of me

Screwing with the timeline, let it be!

Let it be, let it be, Mister Z please let it be!

Not so many changes, let it be.

Do sponsored stories suck? On this we all can agree …

Zuck just keep it simple! Let it be!

Although your stock was cut in half, do we really need a social graph?

Simple is the answer, let it be!

Let it be, let it be, Mister Z please let it be. We’re giving you the answer: Let it be!

Make it easy, make it clean, keep it simple, keep it lean. We’re sending words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be. We’re only here for Farmville, let it be.

And when our life is cloudy there is still a Like that shines on me

Shine until tomorrow, let it be

I wake up to the sound of typing,

And Mister Edge Rank edits me

My algorithmic brother, Let it be!

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be. My algorithmic brother, Let it be!

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah, let it be. And one last word of wisdom: Privacy!

This post, If the Beatles ran Facebook, first appeared on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}

(Note: The link (above) to the blog {grow}  is not working. I think it was made by Jimmy Dean. The link, not the blog. Anyway, if you’d like to get there and you should because Mark’s got a great blog, just go this this address and knock on the door:

https://www.businessesgrow.com/blog/

 

#2 How did John and Paul meet

July 6, 1957 is a date that will go down in rock ‘n roll history.It was the date John and Paul first met. John was 16 when his band, the Quarrymen, performed at St. Peter’s Woolton Parish Church in Liverpool. Fifteen-year-old Paul was tooling around town on his bicycle with his guitar strapped to his back, trying to pick up girls. Paul heard the Quarrymen play and a mutual friend named Ivan Vaughan introduced Paul to John.

Paul whipped out the guitar strapped to his back and played “Twenty Flight Rock” and “Be-Bop-a-Lula”. John was impressed that Paul could tune a guitar and “looked like Elvis”, and John said that he “dug him.” That October, Ivan told Paul that John wanted him in the band.

Here's a very early photo of the Fab Four--John, Paul, George and, hey, where's Ringo? Hey, this must be "the Best Beatles" because it feature Pete Best, before Ringo replaced him,

Here’s a very early photo of the Fab Four–John, Paul, George and, hey, where’s Ringo? Oh no, this must be “the Best Beatles” because it features Pete Best, before Ringo replaced him.

 

OK, that's better- an early shot of the Fab Four, John, Paul. George and finally, Rngo.

OK, that’s better- an early shot of the Fab Four, John, Paul. George and. finally, Ringo.

STAN: Ha, ha, ha. He’s got the order all wrong. He called Paul John, Ringo Paul, John George and George Ringo

HARRIET: Stan, you’re an idiot.

STAN: I know that.

HARRIET: OK, just checking.

#1 With a Little Help from my Friends

This Beatles hit, With a Little Help from my Friends, could be the anthem of the social media generation. We’re all getting by with a little help from our friends, especially our online friends, many of whom we’ve never met. The origin of this song is particularly interesting. It was written because Ringo doesn’t have a great voice. You might never have known that. But Ringo did. Here’s what he said about it.

 


 

“You know, I’m not very good at singing because I haven’t got a great range. So they write songs for me that are pretty low and not too hard.”  Ringo

 

Here’s Ringo Starr in a recent concert still getting a little help from one of his friends.

Young people will know what to do with this hyperlink With a Little Help from my Friends

But for the computer illiterate among us I say: CLICK HERE

With a Little Help from my Friends

Songwriters: John Winston Lennon & Paul James McCartney

5 Reasons Parents Shouldn’t Text

Mom Knows Best

MOM TEXTING: You need ANYTHING. Call mama.

MOM TEXTING: I will ALWAYS be here for you and anything you need.

SON TEXTING: Really, anything?

Mom TEXTING: Thats what I said.

SON TEXTING: All right. Asian hookers. 3 of them.

MOM TEXTING: Oh, no! My credit card has a small limit. Keep it to locals, Lol.

 MOM TEXTING: Your kidding, right?


Who knew? Not Mom.

SON TEXTING: Got and A in Chemistry.

MOM TEXTING: WTF, well done

SON TEXTING: Mom, do you even know what WTF means?

MOM TEXTING: Well, that’s fantastic?

 

Dad Nailed It

SON TEXTING: Will U B home soon?

DAD TEXTING: Going to be a bit late. I’m nailing Mom’s sister

SON TEXTING: You sure?

DAD TEXTING: Yeah, why not? Just tell her please.

SON TEXTING: Mum’s crying. She said you are being kicked out

DAD TEXTING: Wtf? Oh my god. I just read the text I sent. I meant MAILING. MAILING! Thanks a bunch you fckng idiot. I’m coming home now.

 

Guess she didn’t know

MOM TEXTING: What does IDK, LY & TTYL mean?

DAUGHTER TEXTING: I don’t know. Love you. Talk to you later.

MOM TEXTING: OK, I’ll ask your brother.

 

Father Knows Best

DAUGHTER TEXTING: Dad, there’s a moth on the outside of my bathroom door. Can you kill it for me?

DAUGHTER TEXTING: Please hurry becuz I’m going to cry.


DAUGHTER TEXTING: Dad?


DAUGHTER TEXTING: Dad?

DAD TEXTING: Dad is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth

 

3 Reasons Netflix Is Cool Again

I used to subscribe to Netflix. But then I stopped. I was paying eight bucks a month, but I’d go two or three months before I could find a movie I hadn’t seen a zillion times. Or something I hadn’t seen that was worth watching

It’s not that I was a movie snob. I mean, I enjoyed Sleepless in Seattle when it first came out in 1993. But 20 years later, Sleepless in Seattle so 1993.  It’s no longer funny or cool or even interesting as a historical artifact. To me, it’s a waste of time. You know, like telling the world that you were just elected a Mayor on FourSquare.

But now, I want back in! Netflix has suddenly, while I wasn’t looking, gotten cool again. It’s because the new Netflix is more like a cable network with original programming. I could go on about Netflix…

STAN: And you usually do!

…but before 10 Minutes of Brilliance turns into the Never Ending Coffeepot at iHop..

STAN: He’s not very good with metaphors, is he?

HARRIET: No, not really.

.. I thought I’d just list 5 Netflix productions that are worth watching. If Netflix had nothing else (and they do), it would be worth it to watch any of these 5 excellent production on

First the jewel of Netflix, the political drama, House of Cards, starring Kevin Spacey.

 

Next, the fashion show prison drama, Orange is the New Black.

 

Then, there’s the comedy, Lilyhammer, a sort of Sopranos,

but set in Norway. It stars Sopranos regular and E Street

Band guitarist, Steven Van Zandt.

4 Reasons Snoop Dogg Is Getting A New Wrapper

The 4 Reason Snoop Dogg is getting a new name is he didn’t like his other three names. You probably know Snoop Dogg’s latest name is Snoop Lion, but 10 Minutes of Brilliance has the scoop on what his NEXT new name will be. Here. let me start at the beginning.

Snoop Lion, the west coast based rapper, actor and media mogul formerly known as Snoop Dogg, is one of the most successful singers in the world. He’s said to be worth $120 million. He’s been making front page celebrity news ever since 1992 when his first album, Doggystyle, went double Platinum. Not once. Twice. He’s had a pretty impressive career for anyone, especially for someone who was a member of the street rough and tough gang, the Rollin’ 20 Crips.

Of course, for all his success, Snoop Lion had a lot of trouble finding a name he really liked.. He was born Cordozar Calvin Broadus Jr,  His parents gave him the nickname, Snoop. That worked for him for a while. Then Snoop gave his nickname a nickname and he called himself Snoop Dogg.

That worked for a while, but then Snoop Dogg gave his nickname for his nickname a nickname. (Did we lose you? I hope not.) He changed his name to Snoop Doggy Dogg. I guess no one told him nicknames should be shorter than one’s actual name.

Recently Snoop Doggy Dogg grew tired of his nickname’s nickname for his nickname and he started calling himself Snoop Lion. And to make the Doggy Name Game even more confusing, Snoop Lion, a k a Snoop Dogg, directed several adult films using the pseudonyms Michale J. Corleone and Snoop Scorcese.


Now, in a stunning expose sure to shock the entertainment world, not to mention, Pikesville and Owings Mills, 10 Minutes of Brilliance becomes the first media conglomerate to reveal Snoop Lion’s expected new look and new name.

Once again, Snoop Dogg sports a new name AND a new look. Introducing rapper, Rastafarian and media mogul Rabbi Lester Fishbaum, a k a, oh you know the rest.

Introducing rapper, Rastafarian and media mogul Rabbi Lester Fishbaum, a k a, oh you know the rest.

2 Photos I just stuck in here because, well, I can

 

1 Great Commercial I Wish I wrote

Beer commercials (pay attention, Men!) often involve sexy, promiscuous women and rugged, horny men. They appeal to our sexual instincts rather than our finer instincts. That’s why this spot is so wonderful. Sent in by my friend Steve Cline who knows a great commercial when he sees one. I couldn’t get YouTube’s embed code to work, so just click on the headline “1 Great Commercial I Wish I Wrote. That’ll get you there.

OK Readers, that’s it for today. Sorry for all the mistakes, screw-up and things that didn’t show up like they were supposed to. Or as STAN would call it, “Business as Usual.” If you’ve gotten this far, you must be either a close relative or some with empathy for us poor blogger who know not what we do.

But that never stops us from talking about it.  Go on, be a pal, leave me a comment, even a negative one would be better than none.

STAN: Man, Goldenberg really screwed up this time.
HARRIET: Stan, that’s the first time in the 2 years you’ve been on the blog that you got Jack’s name right.
STAN: I know. Maybe now, I’ll get to run the blog.
HARRIET GIVES STAN A STERN LOOK.
HARRIET: STAN!
STAN: 10 Minutes of STAN, here we come.

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