Today, we’ll explore the following topics:

1. TRUTH in Advertising: The Worst Hotel in the World
2. An Absolutely Wonderful Foot Locker Commercial
3. Bacon Underwear: A Very Strange Car Wash Ad
4. A Day in the Life of New York
5. A Tribute to YOU and Nelson Mandela
6.  You Be the Judge
7. Kids Answer 10 Questions about Marriage, Kissing and Dating

TRUTH in Advertising: The Worst Hotel in the World

On my first project on my first job in advertising, I soon realized you couldn’t always tell the TRUTH. Not that you would lie, of course. More that you certainly weren’t going to spend a client’s money advertising what was wrong with a product. even if that was the TRUTH.

My assignment was a print ad for General Electric Color TVs. I asked the Account Executive I was working with, “How good are GE color TVs?”

“Oh, their black & white sets are Number One,” the Suit answered. (In the early 70s, we called Account Executives “Suits.” We called the really awful ones “Empty Suits.”)

“I knew GE black & white sets are great,” I said, ” but how good are color ones?”

The Suit said something under his breath that I couldn’t quite understand. It was as if he was mumbling it on purpose. So I gave him a quizzical look as if to say, “We’re you mumbling that on purpose?”

“They’re fifth best in the country,” he finally explained.

Fifth best? Fifth best?

That was not exactly a ringing endorsement. Needles to say, I had to come up with a another way to make GE Color TV seem exciting to consumers.

STAN: He’s screwing up again?
HARRIET: Who?
STAN: Goldberg

HARRIET: You mean, Goldenberg? Jack Goldenberg?
STAN: Whatever. I’m telling you, this guy’s a jerk, a loser. He said he was going to talk about the advertising for the Worst Hotel in the World. But he’s made no reference to it all. He’ll probably get to the end of this stupid blog without ever making the connection.
HARRIET: He’ll get to it. Give Jack time. And if the blog is so stupid, how come over 10,000 people follow it?

STAN: Me, Harriet! Me! Over 10,000 people read this blog because of me!
HARRIET: Really?
STAN: I’m a celeb, Harriet. I’m sorta the “pick any Kardashian” and Lindsey Lohan of this blog all rolled into one
.
HARRIET: You can say that again.
STAN: I’m sorta the “Pick any Kardashian and Lindsey Lohan...
HARRIET: No, no, I didn’t really mean…oh, never mind.
STAN: All I’m sayin’ is this blog would be nowhere without me.
HARRIET: But Jack writes everything you say. You’re not even real……Neither am I.
STAN: OK, if you and I aren’t real, how about the time we had sex right over there?
STAN POINTS TO LEFT FRONT SIDE OF THE BLOG.
STAN: You can’t tell me that wasn’t real!

HARRIET: I was faking it.
STAN: Oh.
HARRIET: I just think you could be a little kinder to Jack. If you keep hassling him, you could get us both fired. You may be
independently wealthy, Stan, but I’ve got an imaginary family to feed.
STAN: I just wish he’d get to the point.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. I brought up the subject of TRUTH in advertising because I wanted you to know there are still some clients who realize that TRUTH in advertising is more important than ever. Take a client like The Worst Hotel in the World, the Hans Brinker Hotel in Amsterdam

With social media being the medium of the day, you might think that the crowd on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Yelp branded the Hans Brinker the Worst Hotel in the World. Nope. The Hans Brinker Hotel gave itself that unusual distinction.

In fact, it brags about it. The Hans Brinker Hotel warns clients in advance of its filthy conditions. Guests are encouraged to use the shower curtain to dry off after a bath or shower. And its advertising slogan backs up its reputation for being a terrible place to stay with the ad slogan, “It can’t get any worse. But we’ll do our best.”

A lengthy disclaimer on their website reads: ‘Those wishing to stay at the Hans Brinker Budget Hotel, Amsterdam, do so at their own risk and will not hold the hotel liable for food poisoning, mental breakdowns, terminal illness, lost limbs, radiation poisoning, certain diseases associated with the 18th century plague, etc.

Here are some images from their ad campaign:

World's Worst Hotel loives up to its name

When the cleaning crew at the Hand Brinker Hotel finish tidying up a room, it appears to be in worse condition than before they cleaned it.

 

 

 

 

Poster about pet at the World's Worst hotel.l

To me. it seems seems like this poster goes too far, right? I think even dogs would be offended

Another Scary Sign at the World's Worst Hotal.

This is certainly funny, but also a little scary. It’s a good thing they attract mainly a very young crowd…of bacteria

Young woman slweeping on a chair at the World's Worsdt Hotel

The World’s Worst Hotel has a new promise: “Now with beds in every room!”

While you may applaud the hotel’s honesty for their hilarious ad campaign, there’s no need to feel sorry for the World’s Worst Hotel. Their 127 rooms are usually fully booked. No wonder. They now have beds in every room.

An Absolutely Wonderful Foot Locker Commercial

To appreciate the following Foot Locker commercial, it would help if you understood a couple of important facts from American History.

A Couple of Important Facts from American History

1. Former Heavyweight Champion prizefighter Mike Tyson bit off part of Evander Hollyfield’s ear during a championship bout in Las Vegas on June 28, 1997.

2. Dennis Rodman is a big, dumb jerk.

There, now that you know these important facts from American history, you’ll appreciate this new Foot Locker commercial even more.

 Bacon Underwear: A Very Strange Car Wash Ad

As the advertising trade journal Adrants recently pointed out, you don’t see a lot of commercials for car washes. I don’t think I’ve ever seen any!

But even if I had, this car wash commercial still would have scored high on my interest factor if for no other reason than it’s title, “Bacon Underwear.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a commercial for bacon underwear. Sausage underwear commercials, sure. But bacon underwear ads, no way!

Well, maybe just a few. Anyway, it’s both weird and well done. The commercial, not the bacon. Enjoy!

 

A Day in The Life of New York

Ace 10 Minutes of Brilliance photographer, Kcaj Grebnedlog, captured this photograph on a recent trip to New York.

Rat and NY city sanitation department truck

For the first time ever, the roles were reversed and a rat picked up a NY City Sanitation garbage truck.

Speaking of rats, it’s been estimated there are more than 100 million rats in NY city. I just wanna know who was the guy that counted them?

A Tribute to YOU and Nelson Mandela!

The courage and humanity of South African world leader Nelson Mandela will live on to inspire current and future generations. While it would be easy to dismiss Mandela’s triumph of will power and spirit as something foreign to you, my Readers, I maintain there’s a lesson in Mandela’s life for all of us, me included, no matter what our circumstances. This was best expressed by Internet and social media guru Seth Godin in a recent blog.

A Legacy of Mandela by Seth Godin

Others can better write about Nelson Mandela’s impact on the world stage, on how he stood up for the dignity of all people and on how he changed our world.
For those that seek to make a change in the world, whether global or local, one lesson of his life is this:
You can.
You can make a difference.
You can stand up to insurmountable forces.
You can put up with far more than you think you can.
Your lever is far longer than you imagine it is, if you choose to use it.
If you don’t require the journey to be easy or comfortable or safe, you can change the world.

You Be the Judge

By popular demand, we’re bringing back a feature we’ve never run before, You Be the Judge. I will pose two hypothetical questions and you, dear Readers, will offer your hypothetical answers. Simple, huh?

OK, Question #1: A woman who you don’t knows asks, “Do you think I should have another baby?

“How many kids do you have now?” you ask.

“I have 8 kids, ” she says. “Three of my children are deaf, two are blind, one is intellectually limited and has syphilis. Would you recommend that I have a ninth child?”

Would you?

No, you probably wouldn’t. would you? This woman has enough to take care. And besides, while you might sympathize with the woman’s tragic circumstances, maybe there’s something wrong with her genes.

If you said No, well then, you just stopped Beethoven from being born.

Question #2: It’s time to elect a new World Leader, and only your vote counts.. 

Here are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A:
Associates with crooked politicians and consults with astrologists
He’s had two mistresses
He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day

Candidate B:
Was kicked out of office twice
Sleeps until noon
Used opium in college
And drinks a quart of whiskey every evening

Candidate C:
Was a decorated war hero
A vegetarian
He doesn’t smoke
He only drinks an occasional beer and he has never committed adultery.

Which of these candidates would you choose?

Here are the answers:

FDR

FDR associated with crooked politicians and consulted with astrologists.
He had two mistresses.
He also chain smoked and drank 8 to 10 martinis a day.

photograph of Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill was kicked out of office twice, and he often slept until noon.
Hr used opium in college and he drank a quart of whiskey every evening.

adolph Hitler

Adolph Hitler was a decorated war hero
and a vegetarian,
He didn’t smoke, but drank an occasional beer. And he never committed adultery.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kids Answer 10 Questions about Marriage, Kissing and Dating

The Daily News asked a group of young kids how do you decide who to marry?

How do you decide who to marry?

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
– Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.

 What is the right age to be married?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
– Freddie, age 6

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

(1) You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8

What do you think your Mom and Dad have in common?

(1) Both don’t want any more kids.
– Lori, age 8

What do most people do on a date?

(1) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say, if you listen long enough.
– Lynnette, age 8

(2) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
– Martin, age 10

What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?

(1) I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-Craig, age 9

When is it OK to kiss someone?

(1) When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7

(3) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8

Is it better to be single or married?

(1) I don’t know which is better, but I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to have sex with my wife. I don’t want to be all grossed out.
– Theodore, age 8

(2) It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9

How would the world be different if people didn’t get married?

(1) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8..

How would you make a marriage work?

(1) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10

OK, Brilliant Readers, once again I am indebted to you for stopping by. Without you, it would just be me, Harriet and Stan talking amongst ourselves. I’d ask you to leave a comment, but you know how well that has worked out in the past.

I hope you’ll come back soon. Our Year End issue promises to be Brilliant!

Not for the writing, of course. It’s the Readers who are Brilliant.

Me? I’m just here to keep an eye on Stan.